I’m beginning to come to the conclusion that Christmas is only a magical, wonderful and special time for the kiddies. The older I get, the more disconnect I feel during this time of year. Maybe I’m not spreading enough holiday cheer. Maybe I’m not watching enough Christmas movies on Hallmark or going out to enough holiday social events. At any rate, it just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me.
The biggest thing missing from this Christmas, is my grandmother. This will be my first Christmas without her, in all my 27 years, and it’s just not going to be the same. In truth, I’m not looking forward to Christmas Day and could have easily skipped the entire holiday season this year.
So, what do you do when you’re just not feeling very merry and bright? You do the best you can. I’m going to make the best out of what I have and be thankful for my family and friends. I’m going to try my darndest to not dwell on all the reasons why I should and could be sad. I’m going to listen to my body and realize that, even though I’ll be trying to make the most of everything, I still have limits and there will still be sadness and grief and that’s OK.
I’m going to step out of character and, for once, not expect the worst. Any troubles that come, I’m going brush them aside, take a deep breath and move on. I’m not sure why, but we’re programmed to expect the most amazing of days on holidays when, more often than not, they’re the most stressful and chaotic of all days.
It’s OK if your weekend isn’t perfect. Do your best and that’s all that anyone can expect of you. Wake up and find something to be excited about, or something you’re thankful for. And when it all becomes too much, just take a breath and let it go.